Day 91: Beauty emergencies

+ meet Tricia Fell

Hello, friends—

One of my favorite “side effects” of doing a project is all of the other things it opens up. Your project is one thing, but all of the sudden you’re signing up for dance classes or going to art museums, or getting your camera out more often, or making the birthday card instead of buying it. Things that might seem small but feel like they add up to something important. As we approach the end of our projects, today’s interview with Tricia Fell feels like a good reminder that if you’re paying attention, creativity isn’t separate from life—it’s one of the ways we stay connected to it.

Trish and I met many, many years ago when she hired me to teach yoga at the startup she was working at at the time, which feels like an extremely San Francisco way to begin a friendship. Since then, we’ve seen each other through a lot of life—career changes, kids (hers, not mine), heartbreak, joy, reinvention, health challenges (here’s us singing along to The First Wives Club at my chemo appointment almost a decade ago), cross-country voice notes, and a whole lot more.

Trish has also been helping behind the scenes with the project this year. If you've noticed more community stories in the newsletter, a richer chat here on Substack, or different ways of sharing on social—we experimented a lot this year with how we tell those stories—much of that care and momentum has come from her. Please join me in thanking Trish for all that she brings to this community! She has an enormous heart and is also one of the funniest people I know.

You wrote that the daily practice feels like “proof” of commitment and flow—and even a kind of I can do this. What has that proof changed for you over the last 90 days?

I am a fairly introspective person by nature, but sometimes the teachings assigned to personal growth can feel so out there, ya know? Like the path to getting into a flow state is so ambiguous that it’s hard to even begin. Just give me my damn Oprah A-ha moment already, am I right?! In an instant gratification-endlessly swiping-dopamine monster world, this project has deepened my understanding of the power within a one day at a time mentality.

Last week, my seven year old daughter asked me how many remaining days there were in the project. When I told her the tally and said it’s almost over!, she very simply and wisely replied “well, you can keep going after 100 days, you know…”. The project helped me shake off the dust. From here, I have tangible proof that motion is better than stasis, and forward is an acceptable pace.

There’s a thread in what you’ve shared about avoiding certain things, like bigger pieces or trying something new. What have you learned about that edge? What keeps you there, and what helps you move past it?

As you once told me during a tough personal transition period of life: The only way out is through, and the only way through is truth. Getting honest about my fear of mistakes, judgements, or imposter syndrome is the first step to holding it all more gently.

My kids help me move past this. They are hilariously and heart warmingly generous with their praise for everything I’ve made during the project. I’ve shared about it in the chat a few times but their view of the world, mistakes, and even creating is so pure. They approach their work with deep freedom and detachment. This may be a bit blunt (excuse my Jersey-French) but they honestly just don’t give a shit about perfection. They think it’s so cool to be making at all!

Their attitudes help remind me that oh, right, this is the natural way ~ curiosity, play, and mistakes. They are my favorite people on earth, and their opinions of me matter more than anyone else’s. Turns out they are also my biggest fans. What better truth could I hold close to my heart, as I navigate through self doubt?

You’ve brought other people into your project—your kids, your partner, even friends. How has that shaped the experience? Has it changed what the project is, or who it’s for?

I think community - the right community, at that - helps me to be serious about creating, without taking myself too seriously. “For the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.” - Rudyard Kipling. I look at this international community of artists as an ocean of possibility, and the ocean is known as the lungs of the earth. My personal community holds my heart, while expressing creativity feels like a soul’s requirement. The health of one affects all others.

My fella was chatting with his tween girls just the other day about committing to their own practices (both newbies to softball) and using the act of showing up consistently as a way to measure progress. “Just look at Patti”, he said. “Do you remember what her first few wood burns looked like? Have you SEEN some of them now, after almost 100 days?!” (Thanks, babe 😂 ).

Some of your reflections move between the everyday (making lunch, walking the dog) and making art. Has this project changed how you see your daily life or what you consider artful?

It has absolutely deepened how I desire to see my daily life!

Linds - you’ve known me long enough to believe me when I say: I refuse to be chill about life. I try to embody that alongside my kids.

We shout “GOOD JOB, NATURE!” at trees with fresh blooms or changing leaves, and yelp to each other about beauty emergencies (borrowed from writer Maggie Smith) that insist on our most wonder-filled attentions; a fox mom and her kits in Grammy’s yard, a praying mantis who landed on our ferns, the full moon in a shade of creamsicle orange outside a bedroom window. We celebrate birthdays, holidays, and milestones really big in this house. We give long hellos and good mornings. Even longer kisses and hugs-filled goodbyes or goodnights. We happily dance while devouring ice cream. We savor a float in the salty sea, holding hands like a couple of sunscreened otters. We live as deliberately as possible.

I’d be bold faced lying if I said I embody this mindset all the time. Life can be really freaking life-y and oh gosh, I am often so tired and solo-mom stressed! But this project is the right kind of tool to help shift perspectives and invite in a more peaceful, joyful, purposeful lens through which to see life.

We’re getting close to Day 100. I think you’ve caught the art bug, what do you think? What has this opened up for you?

Girl, y’all have me hooked! I had to start a “wood burn” line item on my monthly budget spreadsheet and extend it through the year.

My past participation years have centered solely around writing. Which, don’t get me wrong, is forever my favorite art form. But I can now wholly admit these attempts were taking the half-assed, safer route.

If you look at the very first newsletter I shared for this year’s project, you’ll see a photo of my engraver pen and some thoughts around my plans with that. Spoiler alert: I NEVER USED IT. (I just laughed so loudly typing that, I startled the dog from her nap).

As I shared in the chat earlier this month, my project feels protective of that age-old desire for a woman and/or mother to have her own “thing”: identity, passion, interest...thats only purpose is for pleasure. To feel continuously asked by culture “why do you do this or that?” when it comes to pretty much anything that isn’t labeled acceptably productive or advantageous and to want to scream BECAUSE I WANT TO in response. Because it feels good? Because it interests me? Because I like it?

The project has given me a boost in confidence to claim these, as well as an excuse to help fill my tank in fresh ways via practice, practice, practice.

Anything else you’d like to share?

I’m going to steal this moment to send a little love your way, our generous and thoughtful facilitator! It’s OK if you cut this from the interview, but I really hope you don’t 🙂

We’ve all seen offerings online that promise some kind of connection or group-lead transformation through following a prescribed agenda. Ultimately, I’ve found those spaces to be energy reducing, and they often end up opening doors to further criticisms and comparisons. This is not that. It is SO rare to find such a genuinely positive collective of many, many different kinds of people. Especially in a digital world. Not because every participant and every creation here is perfect, but because this kind of shared vulnerability within a creative practice container breathes an authenticity into the universe that is so desperately needed, and desired.

I am very thankful to have been a part of this journey with everyone and so grateful to you, my friend, for leading the charge with such integrity, light & love!

Trish! She’s the best. I really couldn’t have done it without her this year. You can subscribe Tricia’s Substack here, and find her on Instagram @thegratefullifecoach.

FOR YOUR PROJECT TODAY

Trish clues us in on Maggie Smith’s idea of a beauty emergency—“one of those things you have to look at now, before it's gone.” Keep your eye out for one today.

FOR INSPIRATION

One of the things I love most about Trish’s project is how she made it a family (and friend) affair. She let people in, and it changed what the project was.

Who might you invite into your art life? And how might bringing someone in help you keep going, even after Day 100?

Art and images by Tricia Fell

SHARE IN THE CHAT

Tell us about your beauty emergencies.

XO,
Lindsay